


Locked Out

by gr8escap



Series: Outer Peace [5]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Recovering, Coffee Shops, Gen, Male Friendship, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Seizures, Service Dogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:43:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7990621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gr8escap/pseuds/gr8escap





	Locked Out

Karrie paced the apartment, she was supposed to go to her therapy appointment, should go, didn’t want to go. She looked at the clock again, where the hell was the dog walker? “Bucky.” She said forcefully, “he has a name. Stop referring to him as ‘the dog walker’.”

If Dizzy was gone, she could use the excuse that she couldn’t leave without him. But she’d planned this appointment without Dizzy. She wanted to prove she could do something without _special treatment_.

The knock sounded and she flinched, petting Dizzy’s head as he laid it on her knee. “Damn it I told you not to knock.” She said loudly, causing Dizzy to look up at her. She crossed the space and looked out the peep-hole to see the curly red top of a small person’s head.

Thoughts filtered through her head as she considered the deadbolt. If the kid had an explosive device, they’d both go up whether there was a door between them or not. She shook the thought away and pulled the door open a couple of inches, so she could try to turn the kid away kindly instead of shouting like she was tempted to do, like she would have done a month or even a week ago. “Listen, I don’t need anything you’re selling, there’s a note on the door that says please don’t knock.”

“Miss? I lost my key. It was my first day at my new school, we just moved here, and I can’t get in my apartment. Can I use your phone to call my dad?” the voice could have been male or female; the face could have been either too. Moreover, both crumbled her resolve.

Karrie opened the door, “I have to leave for an appointment, so please hurry.” She handed the phone that she’d been strangling before opening the door to the child.

“Th-thanks.” The kid stammered, near tears.

“It’s ok.” Karrie said, completely out of practice. She looked up to see Bucky in the doorway with one of his dogs at his side. Her frustration and anxiety were instantly redirected at him, “I thought I said Dizzy was to get alone-time.”

He’d watched her struggle to keep her interaction with the child gentle yet wasn’t surprised when she turned venomous on him. He shook his head. He’d had a seizure, the first in two weeks, the night before, and was feeling a little off his game still, so he’d decided that he was going to exercise his rights and bring Porthos today. He wasn’t in the mood for a battle of wills. He vaguely heard the child making conversation on the phone, as he looked Karrie up and down before answering.

“He’s my service dog. I’m having a shit day but with him at my side I’ll be capable of maintaining the level of care you require for Dizzy.” Bucky said, setting the traditional, herbal tea down on the counter, “I’d rather have Porthos with me in case I have another seizure, after all, this is Dizzy’s down-time and he shouldn’t have to work for me when I’m actually working for him. If you’re going to deny me my ADA rights, I’ll have to ask you to find someone else to care for Dizzy, as much as I’d hate to lose him as a client.”

“I… uh. I didn’t know.”

“I know.” He said quietly. “I didn’t say anything. It’s what happens when you shut people out. They don’t tell you things. You didn’t need to know; now you do. Porthos will be with me most of the time. I’ll keep him working while Dizzy and I take care of Dizz’s needs. While I still have your attention, I’d like to offer a bonus session each week, where Dizzy, and Athos and Porthos can play together. It would be pro-bono. I believe Dizzy deserves ongoing canine socialization.”

“I’ll… I’ll think about it.” Karrie said as she took a drink of her tea. She liked the extra touch he always seemed to bring along; she’d have to tell him that sometime.

At least he had her considering it. Bucky didn’t expect that. Maybe the kid softened her. Maybe it was his admission that he was even less _whole_ than she thought. Because face it, the arm thing wasn’t exactly apples to apples.

“Thanks miss. My dad’s coming home. I can go sit on the stoop til he gets here. I like your dogs.”

“Thanks.” The two said in unison. Probably the first time they were in harmony with each other, Bucky thought.

“Hey, would you mind if we take an extra few minutes so I can wait with the kid? I’ll take Dizzy for his full hour once the kid’s home safely.”

“Go ahead.” She said dismissively, “I need to get going.”

“You gonna be ok without Dizz? We could reschedule.”

“I need to do things without the damned dog.” She said in a rush, willing away tears that were threatening to betray her.

“No. You don’t. You’re entitled to this as long as you need it. Besides he’s great to hang around with.” Bucky smiled, petting Dizzy’s ear, technically Dizzy was still on Bucky’s time so Bucky could do so. “I’ve started taking Porthos everywhere since my friends staged a little intervention. Seems they’re worried about my brain fritzing out on me and that I’ll be all alone when it does. So I agreed to have this monstrosity with me at all times, and he’s actually good company, even when I don’t think I want any.”

“I wanted to prove something to myself.”

“I know.” Bucky said again. “I know. Listen, walk down with us, if you still want to go without Dizzy, I’ll take him as planned. If you decide to take him, I’ll owe you a walk.”

“Third option.” She said before she could stop herself, “You and Porthos walk with us to the therapist’s office.”

“I’d like that, but what about the kid on the stoop?”

“You really want to rescue everyone, don’t you?” She asked, picking up her purse and committing every detail of the room to memory before pulling the door closed behind them.

“It beats the alternative.” Bucky said with a grimace. “I have a lot to atone for.”

They took the stairs. (Good) Bucky only took the stairs anyway. He stepped aside for Karrie and Dizzy to go ahead of him, expecting a rebuff for any approach he took. She shocked him; he thought she might have even allowed a tiny smile to escape as they stepped down ahead of him and Porthos.

The kid sat sprawled over a couple of steps on the stoop when they got outside, “You gonna be ok here by yourself? How long before your dad gets here?” Bucky asked as Porthos stood firmly at his side, ignoring the kid and Dizzy like a pro.

“He said fifteen minutes. I’m good. Don’t talk to strangers… well except you guys… Stay put. Scream if anyone pulls anything.”

Bucky pulled out one of his business cards, “Call me when your dad gets here. If I don’t hear from you or him in 20 minutes, I’m coming to check.”

“Ok.” The kid said, “Sure mister.”

“Bucky. Please call me Bucky.”

“I thought you were just overprotective and pushy with me.” Karrie said after they’d walked for a few minutes.

“Hah.” Bucky said, rubbing his temple, trying to alleviate the headache he’d been fighting ever since the seizure. “Shows what you know.”

“Are you alright?” She asked.

“You’re concerned? That’s not like you.” His tone was the usual one he took with her, a bit aloof and just shy of condescending. He’d cultivated the attitude and it seemed to work with her.

“I’m not heartless.” She answered, in her typical defensive manner.

“I know. You’re usually more distant. Don’t let my latest revelation change that. I’m fine. It’s just a headache.”

“So that’s normal then? After?”

“Go ahead say it. After a seizure? Yeah.” Bucky said without a hint of his earlier tone

“That was nice, what you did for that kid.” Bucky was touched by Karrie allowing herself to show this amount of compassion.

“I don’t know, I wonder if I could have done more. I almost left my phone and instructions to call the cops if anyone bothered them. I worried that might be too over the top though.”

“You’re such a boy scout.” Karrie scoffed.

“Hardly.” Bucky shook his head. “Just a guy with a lot to atone for.”

“Second time you’ve said that. You can’t preach duty and then…”

“I’m not one of those army officers who say, “I was doing my duty”. I’m something else. I guess you missed all the press.”

“So you’re a big deal.” She stated sarcastically.

“I guess the shit I did _allowed_ people to make a big deal of things. Do you remember the fall of SHIELD?”

She thought a moment, “yeah. Oh. Yeah… Oh. You’re _that_ James.”

“Feel free to fire me.” Bucky was concerned she actually would. He could always find a new client, but he couldn’t keep an eye out for her, and for some reason, that was important. Besides, he’d miss Dizzy.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not being murderous anymore.”

“Did you just make a joke?” Bucky looked sideways at Karrie. “I think you made a joke? Are you ok? Should I call someone?”

“Stop. It wasn’t a joke it was just an observation.” She looked away, “Can I ask a favor? I wouldn’t want to be a problem, but maybe you’d be the right person…”

“I told you, any time.” Bucky said. “Tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

“You’re not even going to ask?”

“Listen, if you’re asking, I’m in. I already said as much. So where? When?”

“Monday. I have an appointment to get the new arm, if you would go with me, I’d appreciate it. It would be nice to have someone to keep an eye on Dizzy.”

“Anything for Dizz.”

“You keep shortening his name. I didn’t name him ‘Dizz’.”

“He answers to both. It’s not going to hurt. If it really bothers you, I’ll _try_ to only do it when it’s just the boys.”

“I guess if you’re not planning on stopping _at all_ I’ll just have to tolerate it.”

“Something’s been bothering me since we first met. You approached me. You spoke to _me_. Why, since then, have you taken it upon yourself to hate me so much?”

“I don’t hate you. I’m just a very unpleasant person, which is probably why I tried to abort the mission as soon as I realized I had broken protocol. I wasn’t going to talk to you, or to anyone. I was impressed with your share and I reacted against my better judgement.”

“You don’t seem like an overly unpleasant person to me. I think you might just be making things more difficult than you have to.”

“Speaking from experience?”

“A little. I shut out the person who wanted most to help me. I thought I was protecting them.”

“From what? From you?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm…” She said, stopping in front of a set of glass doors. “This is me, going to therapy now. I still want to do this without Dizzy. Can you meet me back here in 50?”

“If you’re sure. You know, I’d meet you after anyway. We could get that coffee.”

“Take Dizzy, it’s too nice for him to sit inside. Meet me and we’ll get coffee. We’ll sit outside like the _normal_ dog owners.” Karrie smiled.

Bucky’s smile in response was slow as he registered, she was reaching out to him in multiple ways, she even basically invited _him_ to coffee and her smile, her actual, honest to god smile was radiant. “Um, ok.” He started, “Ok, but do me a favor? If you decide you’d like Dizzy to come back, just text me. You’re testing yourself, and any length of time is a success, ok?”

“Ok. You have a deal. You sure have your hands full, yourself, your dogs, other people’s dogs, the kid at my apartment, and _me_. I don’t know how you do it.”

“I don’t sleep much.” Bucky answered truthfully, but with a playful smile. “I guess I’d better go check on that kid, don’t worry, I’ll make it part of Dizzy’s walk, we won’t dawdle.”

“I’m really hard on you, aren’t I?”

“You’ve had your moments.” Bucky admitted taking Dizzy’s leash. “Go, I don’t want to make you late.”

He watched her enter the building before he turned, with a sigh. His head was still throbbing, at least while he had Karrie’s spectrum of moods to distract him he hadn’t noticed it as much, now, he felt a sense of urgency to get back and make sure the kid was safe but he pushed back at that urgency a little because of the pain. This one was going to hurt.

Reluctantly, he spurred the dogs into a jog; he wasn’t going to break into a run. Porthos kept to his side, but Dizzy wanted to encourage a little more speed. A couple of tugs on the leash reminded Dizzy that he wasn’t going to get his lead. Bucky slowed to a walk as the trio reached the final corner and they rounded it. Karrie’s building was a couple down from the corner, and across the street. Bucky could see the kid still sitting on the stoop. He raised his hand in a partial wave as the kid, who seemed to be actively looking up and down the avenue for their father, saw him. He got a lazy wave back.

At the foot of the stairs, Bucky stopped the dogs and had them sit, “Not here yet? Here, you want to use my phone to call?”

“Nah. I’m ok. I guess he just forgot me.”

“Hmm. I forget stuff all the time. Don’t think I’d like to be forgotten though.”

“Happens a lot. Just busy workin’ I guess.”

Bucky frowned, “Here, call your dad. Remind him.” He said as he pushed his phone into the kid’s hands and sat on the step, “Did I introduce myself earlier? I forget.”

The kid offered a watery smile. “Nah. That grumpy lady was too busy giving attitude.”

“She’s ok. Had a tough time lately is all. Scared of loud noises, your knock freaked her out.”

“Oh.” the kid frowned as the phone rang on the other end. “Dad? You forgot me again didn’t you?”

Bucky watched the dogs as they remained sitting on the sidewalk, he gave the command to lie down, and both dogs obeyed. Porthos kept his eyes on Bucky, which made Bucky a little nervous; usually Porthos would give in and sleep like Dizzy was starting to do. Bucky really didn’t need another seizure so soon after the last one. Maybe Porthos was just being extra diligent.

He took his phone back, “Everything ok?”

“Says he didn’t forget and he’s down the block.”

“Good. So, I’m Bucky, that sleeping dog is Dizzy and the one watching me like a hawk is Porthos.”

“Hi. I’m Mandi. HEY DAD!” the kid smiled and waved at someone behind Bucky. “This is my dad. Dad this is Bucky.”

Bucky looked at the dogs, still in their assigned spots and nodded his approval before standing up to meet Mandi’s father.

“Hi Bucky, I’m Julian, Mandi’s dad. Thanks for helping her out. Even if she’s a little forgetful, she’s a good kid.”

“Julian,” Bucky shook the man’s hand briefly, “like I told Mandi a few minutes ago, I forget stuff all the time. I just wanted to make sure she was safe.”

“Thanks again. Those are some great looking dogs, and so well behaved.”

“Thanks, I can’t take credit for the sleepy one, he’s not mine. Not that I deserve much credit for the other one either, really, he’s just a good dog.”

“Dad said we could get a dog if we could have pets in our building.”

“I did, and we can. Do you know any good breeders?”

“Nah, I know some great rescues though, with some really fine dogs. I also walk them and dog sit. I gave Mandi one of my cards earlier so she could call when you got to her.”

“Hm. I just thought maybe we could get a reliable dog through a breeder.”

“Well, dogs are kind of like people, you can’t tell whether or not they’re ‘reliable’ or whatever other quality you need by their pedigree. It’s experience and training that makes a reliable dog. It can’t hurt to look at a few rescues, if you don’t find something that fits, maybe something else will present itself.”

“So yours is a rescue?”

“Mine is, he was starved, and near death, I fostered him and nursed him to health, with the help of his bonded friend. I was only going to get the one, but they were so close. Dizzy there, he was rescued from a dog-fighting ring, and rehabilitated and trained to be a PTSD service dog.”

“Wow, ok. Hey, that gives me a lot to think about. I’ll call you for some more information.”

“Ok, that would be great.” Bucky’s headache was peaking at the mention of breeders. “Well, it was nice to meet you both, I’m supposed to be on the clock. I’ll be owing Dizzy here extra time.”

“Thanks again for everything.”

“Nice to meet you Bucky.” Mandi said from the top step, waving.

Bucky rounded the corner and called Steve, “Hey, you think you might be able to come hang out with me? I haven’t been bouncing back from last night’s seizure like I usually do and even Porthos is giving me the eye. It might be nothing but I’d rather not take any chances. I have to finish up with Dizzy before I can go home.”

“Yeah, sure. Tell me where and I’ll be there. Do you think you should call the doc?”

“No. I don’t know. I think I might just be getting paranoid.”

“Better to err on the side of caution. Can’t you take the dog back and reschedule? I know this is the tricky client, but…”

“No, she’s at an appointment. It’ll be fine. I just don’t know if I should be alone.”

“It’s bad enough that you're asking for help. You shouldn’t be alone. I’ll be there.”

“Meet me at the park. Our usual.” When Bucky ended the call he looked at Dizzy, “Dizz, I’m breakin’ all your ma’s rules today. Don’t rat me out.”

He was glad he could smile when Dizzy looked at him and then carried on with his happy prance – he was headed to the park and he was excited.

“Porthos, stop looking at me like that. I have Steve coming, we’ll be fine, it’s just a headache dog.”

Steve was waiting when they got there, “You run or what?” Bucky asked when he met up with him.

“I caught a ride. So this is Dizzy. Good looking dog.”

“He’s a giant marshmallow.” Bucky said affectionately. “I’d keep him if he didn’t have a home. He’s got a good one, he loves Karrie. Shit, speaking of Karrie, she finally agreed to coffee, even almost made it her idea.”

“That’s ‘shit’?”

“She’s going to close off if you’re with me.”

“I can steer clear, or better yet, just tell her the truth. I’m sure she’d rather have me there to be responsible if you had a seizure than have to be there alone with you, wondering what to do.”

“I guess you’re right. This is so tricky; she’s so prickly so often.”

“Your health is as important as her emotional state.”

“Well, if you gotta go putting it like that.” Bucky said quietly. They walked through the park until it was close to time to meet Karrie, and turned that direction. Bucky pulled out his phone, and called, leaving a message on her phone, “Hey, I’ve been feeling a little odd so I called a friend in case something went down. I’d still like to get a coffee, thought you’d just like a heads up.”

She sent a text reply as they were nearing the building, “If you’re still up for it, let’s do it.”

Bucky watched her for signals, he was happy when she smiled upon seeing Dizzy. “Hey, I’m going to owe you some extra time, I waited with the kid, your new neighbors are Mandi and Julian by the way. I think about fifteen minutes.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a weird day.” She said as she buried her face in Dizzy’s neck, “I missed you, you little furball.”

Bucky was sure he wasn’t supposed to hear that, she’d said it so quietly, but his enhanced hearing gave him a little extra insight. “So, this is my friend Steve. Steve, this is Karrie.”

“Steve. I’m sure you’ve heard nothing good about me. Apparently, around people, I’ve forgotten how to behave like an adult.”

“I’ve heard several good things, actually.” Steve countered. “It’s nice to meet you Karrie.”

Bucky bit back a smile at the look of shock that crossed her face. Of course he’d complained about her, intensely, but it had been pointed out that every time he said something negative he would counter it with something nice. He hadn’t put any stock in it until Steve said what he did to Karrie.

“You’re saying good things about me? Who gave you permission to do that?”

“I figured as much as I was complaining about you, I should at least try to find some redeeming quality.” Bucky dramatically pulled her seat out, knowing it would bug her.

Karrie looked at the two men, Bucky’s smirk and Steve’s complete acceptance of the situation, she remembered just then whose company she was in, of course pulling out a chair was normal, chivalrous, no malice – well she suspected a little instigation on Bucky’s part – but the act itself was ingrained in their _generation_. “Thank you.” She said sweetly, noting the uneven look she got back from Bucky. She’d stumped him.

“You’re just being nice to me because I have a service dog.” He pouted.

“No, I’m showing off for your friend. I don’t care if you have two service dogs.”

“Well, I do.” Bucky said with a mock-defensive tone as he sat next to Steve, across from Karrie.

“Really? They’re both?” She was curious now.

“Well, Athos does better with the PTSD triggers and Porthos is my seizure pal.” Bucky stroked the dog’s head as he sat nearby, “He’s putting off the weirdest signals, I’m trying not to be nervous about it.”

Karrie caught herself before saying ‘Wow, that’s the most open you’ve ever been about….’ Because it dawned on her that she hadn’t really allowed him to be very open with her. Up until his admission about the seizures, no she could give herself credit for a few extra minutes before that when she’d admonished herself to stop calling Bucky the ‘dog-walker’, she hadn’t really thought of him as much more than a service provider. He’d tried to be her friend since day one and she’d shut him out trying to keep herself shut off from him and everyone else.

Instead she said, “If he knows what he’s about, you should listen to him. It’s good you had Steve come along. I’d hate for you to be alone if it happened on your way home.”

She’d have to give him credit, he didn’t give her a shocked and bewildered look, just a tired smile as he thanked Steve for the tea he’d decided on in lieu of coffee.

“Yeah, I’d hate that too.”

They had coffee (or tea) and talked about things that weren’t seizures or PTSD, and Karrie even found herself laughing a couple of times before the unwelcome feeling of being too exposed made her want to retreat to her apartment.

“I hate to do this, but I need to get out of here.” Bucky heard the nerves in her voice, he had to give her credit. This was usually when she got especially prickly.

“Hey, no problem. If you’d like we could walk with you. If it’s an alone thing I get that too.”

 “Thanks, I’ve got Dizzy, I’d rather you go take care of your headache. Thank you for everything. I’m too mean to you, too much.”

“Don’t apologize yet. It might happen again.” Bucky said lightly. “It was a pleasure having coffee with you Karrie.”

“It was a pleasure. Thank you Bucky. It was good to meet you Steve. Thanks for joining us.”

“Wow.” Bucky said after Karrie had left the patio and rounded the corner. “Wow.”

“Stop.” Steve laughed.

“Seriously, that was the nicest she’s ever been. Ever.”

“You’re wearin’ her down. It’s the ole Barnes charm I tell ya.” Steve said, “You still feel off? You should call the doc.”

“The doc’s halfway around the world.”

“Telemedicine.” Steve said pointedly.

“Right, technology.” Bucky shook his head. “Fine, I’ll call her when we’re home.”


End file.
